We all experience moments of self doubt. Especially when we are creatives either a part of a studio or out on your own. I am analytical, methodical, a deep thinker and a disrupter. This is not just in terms of my work but also it plays a role in my everyday perspectives as well.
I began to question why I was able to be so much more relaxed as a person out of the studio and with colleagues, but come the night before a pitch, my anxiety would peak and then during a presentation a calmness. For a long time I took my work way to seriously. My analytical approach pushed me out of whack and forced me into self doubt.
I had to learn the art of balance. To note my extremes and then channel them into more useful aspects. I would in the past ware my heart on my sleeve socially but failed to transition that softer element into my work. I learnt that I needed to honour my truth. Yes I am crazy and creative, I am loud and driven, but I am also sensitive and emotive and to not embrace and honour these aspects was a disservice to myself and my clients.
I acknowledged my weakness was not in my ability, but in my approach and that is why I feel I endured a lot of self doubt.
Self Doubt is a Dream Killer
It truly is and when you first hit the road out of university it takes a while to find your feet again, and you know what - thats okay! There is a million ways to do anything, and everyone has setbacks.
Wether its design, leaving university to join the world, changing jobs or reaching for that dream...
"Persistence is Key" - Beck Storer
I didn't really know what that meant until I found myself struggling for rent and drowning in self doubt. It really comes down to staying true to yourself and sometimes that means taking a step back and changing direction, perspective or approach or in my case all three.
I am all about emotions and experiences, and I was preventing myself from feeling the best of either by running from my integrity. Self awareness isn't the same as knowing what choice to take. A simple and yet liberating acknowledgement. Self awareness is about accepting yourself. You will never be complete. So embrace the work in progress and expand on that central part of you, through breaking free from set limits and negative constructs.
"I am a never ending work in progress" - Claudius De Zario
I am real and I am and always will be, a seeker for self improvement. I make beautiful mistakes and I dig deep - always seeking the abstract in everything. I am hands on, I am a fighter and a creative. I love new experiences and life defining challenges. I am a dreamer and a go getter. I am okay with making mistakes, I am okay with change why? Because I have survived harder things and its always just the beginning.
So screw the nay sayer's and defy them!
And to you, my self-analytical reader, you too are just as perfectly imperfect as you are supposed to be. Lets be fearless together.